ATTACK OF THE CHICKEN CUTLETS

No...these are horrible. This is the second time I have gone out and they have fallen off my tits. They look just like chicken cutlets and they feel like chicken cutlets.

So here's my issh with the chicken cutlets....Last night I went out with the girls to the bar and then a club. There I am, dancing away like a diva on the dance floor, people are everywhere and the place is jam packed. All of a sudden one of the cutlets falls to my belly button, then the other shortly follows. I throw my hands to my chest and check the room to see if anyone is looking; thankfully only like 35 people saw. So I have 2 choices. One, leave the dancing slash lose my girlfriends and two, ditch the cutlets. Option two sounded better. So there I am, trying to act all nonchalantly and I release the cutlets from my pretentious grip, and they drop to the floor, falling down my dress. Then I am stuck in a pickle again because I'm like shit, here are these 2 cutlets on the dance floor and they are bright. I mean, they stuck out. If you saw them on the floor you'd be like damn, who is roasting a chicken tonight? So I blame the dirtay deed on my BCBG shoes and kick them to the side, and then grab my girlfriends hand and drag her away from the crime scene. Just as I kick them away from me, far, far away, I catch this dude staring at me. I almost died(and lets get one thing straight, these things ARE NOT easy to kick away. They stuck to the floor everytime they rolled over. And to make it worse, they jiggled like friggen jell-o). I stare at him for a good minute and mouth, "Don't you even fucking dare tell." He then looks down and the cutlets are right by his feet. I made a quick dash to the other side of the room.

I am just dying to see the reaction of the janitor when he gets a load of those. Hopefully he doesn't try and feed his family with them, because he'll be eating a big roast of fake titties.